Friday 9 November 2012

Busy does not equal mothering success...

I just wrote a different post about Mummy to Mummy socialising, I talked about support feeling like critique between Mums and how support can turn into interfering. But I lost my line of thought and it became uninteresting because today my thoughts are far too linear to discuss anything as intricate as women's social interactions when vulnerable.

Today marks the end of an ENTIRE week at home. With the exception of a trip to the supermarket, an hour at the local community centre and a couple of strolls we have dwelled between these fours walls.

The biggest surprise is that it feels really nice.

Since baby girl was born I always saw some kind of imaginary prize going for the most active Mum. A full calendar has been a badge of mothering success. The self asserted pressure to stimulate, stimulate, STIMULATE  has weighed really heavily. In her early days I saw baby girl changing so rapidly it fuelled some kind of extreme crazed urgency to "MAKE THE MOST OF IT" and for the love of Crunchies "ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!"

By comparison this week we were held hostage at home by a nasty cough and cold. This week has been about routine, comfy clothes, long naps, cuddles, cooking, socks, fabric softener smells...

I feel slower. Everything is streamlined. I do breakfast, then she naps, then I drink tea, then I get dressed... etc As opposed to; I'm going to give her breakfast whilst I prep dinner, order online shopping and text my Dad, then I HAVE to keep her awake to she'll nap in the car on the way to Becky's so she'll be ok to play with Lola whilst I...

I've got my stuff together. My house is in order, the washing is done. I don't have five unanswered texts  and I have sorted my car insurance.

Best part? I am looking forward to the weekend more than ever. I am energised to spend time with the husband rather than "thank God you're home I thought I'd NEVER get back up, quick hold the baby whilst I try and do everything that's been bugging me all week at light speed". And I would normally start 8 jobs at once, make a mess, get overwhelmed and blame him for the whole ordeal. (Poor Steve, but don't tell him, it'll RUIN my reputation and I'll probably want to revert to my old ways without having my own blog quoted at me.)

Lessons:

  1. Being busy is not a mark of mothering success. 
  2. I need to spend more time at home and the coming cold weather makes for a great excuse for that. 
  3. Streamline your actives and thoughts. 
  4. Living for the weekend means reserving enough energy to enjoy the weekend.

10 comments:

  1. Wow! Good for you! Streamlining is good advice too.
    -Jamie
    http://chatterblossom.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks Jamie... I'm FULL of good advice... Now to practice TAKING it! He he! Happy Sunday :D

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  2. what a great post! I can completely relate and have found it so refreshing to spend more time at home instead of rushing from one thing to the next. and as you said not be so desperate for my husband's help on the weekends but actually ENJOY that time! your baby is super cute too!

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    1. Hey Jen! Thank you I am so glad you liked the post :D Next week is looking SHAMEFULLY booked up so I may need to some prioritising and putting off... Hmmm... Happy Sunday :D

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  3. I couldn't agree more. The best time of my life was when I was on mat. leave with my first. I set extremely low expectations (i.e., getting ONE thing done like laundry or grocery shopping, etc.) and I was just present for my daughter. It was so leisurely and delicious. Although that being said, there were moments of feeling isolated and that's when you call someone up and say, "Get over here" or "meet me for a coffee".

    Thanks for linking into the Kid Lit Blog Hop. I'm a new follower. Cheers!

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    1. Hi Renee! Indeed it's just ALL about being present, such an eloquent way of putting it. I did end up doing some coffee shout outs and was lucky enough to have some super wonderful friends also on mat leave and willing to come and keep me company! Thanks for visiting and following, really great to have you on board :D

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  4. I've been thinking about this post all week, and it just inspired me to write about it! Hope you like it..
    http://buttonstinyworld.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/living-in-the-moment-v-think-it-do-it/

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    1. OH POLLY! How lovely! Thank you for mentioning me! I so get where you're coming from... But it's hard to slow down, worth it when we do granted but I must say... chicks like us do kno show to get shiz done... ;) xxxx

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  5. Thanks for your post, you are totally right. I've struggled with the streamlining but I had to, as I now have 2 little ones and they need my time.


    Supporting you in getting your fitness and nutrition back on track

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    1. Hi Gillian! I think about number 2 ALOT and how this will be such a game changer and so much of what I have the luxury to ponder will no longer be... Hmmm... Stay tuned ;)

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I appreciate, read and reply to all comments, I would LOVE to hear what you think today...

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